ThAnKsGiViNg 2008

Well Thanksgiving went rather well considering all the running around we had to do & Mason was a trooper. We started out the day at my brothers. We didn't get to eat with them but I did get to see my Aunt & cousin that I haven't seen in 3 years. It's my dad's only sister! Then I got to briefly see my Uncle as well. It was really good to see them. It reminded me that I need to start keeping in touch with them. I've always feared people but I'm an adult now & they are my family!! Mason got to play with his cousins, Kaden & Karson. He had so much fun. There is a year between him & Karson but finally they are getting older so they are understanding each other a little bit more. It was tender to watch them play together. Then we headed off to Mike's moms and ate some yummy turkey of course!! After that I headed over to a friends, my new adoptive moms with Mason. We visited with all their family & again Mason got to play. He loves going over there! He is obsessed with all the planes in their house because her husband is retired military so they got him some planes to play with. Amazing what a little plane can do for a child. He was in heaven! I'm so lucky to have their family in my life & take me on as an adoptee. I've always needed a mother figure in my life & now I have got one!! YAY! Sorry, no pictures were taken as Mike forgot the camera!!

Just an F.Y.I....

To the right you can see that I have added a separate blog site for myself. This is my venting blog for myself as I'd like to keep this one about our family & Mason!! I'll be keeping the other private so if you want to be added just let me know! Love ya all...

I'm still slightly alive

So I have been doing a lot of ranting on my blog lately! It probably sounds as if I’m going insane however I’m only slightly insane at this point! I don’t want to alarm anyone however blogging gives me a way to vent & a way to get some good feedback. I’m definitely having a midlife crisis but I’m going to make it through this! With lots of prayers & support! Thank you ALL for ALL your support. It really means a lot to me. It is what helps me go on another day…I will make it through this tough time in my life!! Thank you to EVERYONE!!

I AM DONE!!

Frustration, frustration, frustration! For years I’ve asked myself why I rely on people so much & trust that what they say they are going to do they will do? At my ripe age of 28, I should have learned NOT to count on people because usually they only let me down. Maybe my expectations are too high but I don't see that I expect too much. Just a little courtesy would be nice. They say they will call but they never call, they say they will see you soon but they never do, they claim that things are fine but things are NOT fine! I ALWAYS set myself up to always be let down. I shouldn’t expect things just because people promise them. In this difficult situation a person in my life who I consider a teacher, an inspiration & a true friend has let me down AGAIN. This has continually happened throughout our friendship so why do I even try to stay friends with this person? Because I am so DAMN insecure I think I need this person in my life when obviously I don’t because they only cause me pain & anger. Why do I find it okay to put myself in hurtful friendships? It’s NOT okay! Ugh…I’m letting go of this person. I don’t need them in my life. I am a good person & I deserve to be treated with RESPECT!

Help me...

Lord I want to love you, yet I’m not sure.
I want to trust you, yet I’m afraid of being taken in.
I know I need you, but I’m ashamed of the need,
I want to pray, but I’m afraid of being a hypocrite.
I need my independence, yet I fear to be alone.
I want to belong, yet I must be myself.
Take me, Lord, yet leave me alone.
Lord, I believe, help me with my unbelief.
O, Lord, if you are there, you do understand, don’t you?
Give me what I need, but leave me free to choose.
Help me work it out my own way, but don’t let me go.
Let me understand myself, but don’t let me despair.
Come unto me, O Lord, I want you there.
Lighten my darkness, but don’t dazzle me.
Help me to see what I need to do, and give me
The strength to do it.O Lord, I believe, help me with my unbelief

Summer Vacation!

As some of you know I had a little of a summer vacation! Ok, I wouldn't call it a vacation but it was a great oppurtunity to get to know myself. I spent some time at a beautiful cabin in the mountains & with absolutely beautiful people that taught me more than I ever thought I could learn! I made wonderful friends, friends that will last a lifetime! They are like family now to me & I love each & every one of them!! We even did some fishing & the lakes were BEAUTIFUL! Here's just a few pictures from my vacation.

***HaLlOwEen 2008***

Well Halloween wasn't quite what we would have expected!! Mason decided that he didn't need a nap that day so by the time we tried to take him trick or treating, he chose to throw a tantrum instead of trick or treat!! The whole neighborhood could hear him screaming. He wanted to just go in people's yards & kiss all their decorations instead of get candy. As you can see by his poor face, he looks tortured!! But he was a good sport & loved his monkey costume but he just didn't want to do the dirty work to get his candy...