GIVE IT BACK

You consume my life,
My every thought,
My every move,
Why are you doing this?
You have nothing to prove-
You have only proved you can
Steal someone’s soul-
You have left me empty,
You have left me with nothing but a hole-
A hole in my heart-
A hole in my mind-
I thought you were the friend
I needed to find-
You betrayed me, you took
The best of me-
Now I want it back,
I want to be free-
Free of your confusion,
Free of your hurt-
Free of your control-
Damn it, I’m begging you please
Give me back my soul-

Numb....

I can't understand the facts of life that are laid so perfectly in front of me. I'm contanstly fighting the battle & trying to control things in my life that are NOT controllable. I'm forgetting to turn them over to a power greater than myself. That power is who I choose to call God. Why can't I understand that if I just turn my self will & life over to him, he will do what's right for me. It's such an easy concept but yet so hard to do. I cannot control people, places or things but yet I still continue to try. Dwelling on the person, situation or place instead of just controlling my feelings & changing the way I'm thinking about the situation. UGH, so frustrating! I just want to let it all go. Turn my burdens over to something greater than myself so that I don't have to carry all the weight alone. I've carried my weight alone for way too long so "just for today" I will trust in God to do what's right for me & not my self will...

Another day in the fast lane...

Currently I’m living a life in the fast lane & forgetting to live in the moment & appreciate what’s going on around me right now, so my prayer of the day hit me hard. I can’t slow down for a minute. My mind feels it needs to stay busy all the time & considering what I’m going through right now, staying busy is all that’s keeping me from insanity. And of course Mason keeps me sane! He reminds me everyday of what I am living for since so often I forget what my purpose is here on earth. He is my life…I’m so thankful God trusted me enough with one of his children to raise…he is my child as much as he is a child of God. Okay, before I get all spiritual, here it is:

Lord, slow me down.
Ease the pounding of my heart by quieting my mind.
Steady my hurried pace. Give me, in the confusion of my day,
The calmness of everlasting hills. Break the tension of my nerves
And muscles. Help me to know the magical, restoring power of sleep.
Teach me to take minutes vacations by slowing down to look at
A flower or a could, to chat with a friend, to pat a dog , to read
A few lines from a good book. Remind me that the race is not
Always to the swift, that there is more to life than increasing speed.

Let me look upward into the branches of the towering oak and
Know that it grew great and strong because it grew slowly and well.

Lord, slow me down. Inspire me to send my roots deep into the soul
Of life’s enduring values that I may grow toward the starts of my great destiny!!